Parenting, Co Parenting Classes

How do I deal with sending my kids to the co-parent over the Holidays?

2010-12-27T18:21:00.000-08:00

It's tough to watch your kids walk out the door during the Holidays when you want to spend time with them. Remember, this is about your kids. They want to see their other parent. They want to spend time with their father or mother over the Holidays just as much as they want to spend time with you.

Take a deep breath. Talk to yourself. Put your kids first. Let them have joy over the Holidays and be free to love and see the other parent. Your ex-partner may be involved with someone new this year and your child might even enjoy being around them. Be happy that your kids like the new person in their life. Be happy that your kids are treated well by the new person in their life.

Take it Holiday by Holiday and know that you will make your kid's life a better place by allowing them to love and be loved.

If you would like to learn more survival skills to deal with co-parenting come to parentingclassonline.net

Co-Parenting Agreement Rules

2010-10-11T07:06:00.000-07:00

I am frequently asked about what type of rules should co-parents establish. Here are a few that I think are important to co-parents and to children.

1. Treat each other with respect at all times. We are talking about being cordial with each other especially in front of the children.

2. Do not use condescending or derogatory terms with each other. The next time you feel like throwing out an insult with your ex-partner picture your children's faces. Would you want them to hear you speaking to their other parent this way?

3. Make your children's needs more important that your conflict with an ex-partner. You already had conflict with your ex-partner and that's why your relationship didn't work out. Keep conflict to a minimum for your children's sake.

If you would like to know more about improving co-parenting skills through and after a divorce visit us as parentingclassonline.net and get started.

Parenting Class

2010-09-26T08:21:00.000-07:00

What is the difference between an online parenting class and a parenting class taken in person?

I get this question a lot and the simple answer is there is no difference in taking a parenting class in person vs. taking an online parenting class other than you can take an online parenting class in the comfort of your own home. There are other conveniences of an online parenting class such as: you sign in and out when you have the time to concentrate. You don't have to listen to boring lectures or videos. You learn at your own pace. You don't have to listen to discussions that don't pertain to you. You learn parenting skills the way you want to learn parenting skills in an online class. You don't have to rush to be somewhere at a certain time.

The other side to taking an online parenting class is to make sure the class is credible. Ask questions such as who is teaching the class? Who designed the material? The last thing you want to do is take a parenting class online and find out it is being run out of someone's basement with no credibility.

At parentingclassonline.net we strive to give you what you need in a parenting class at a price you can afford. We are an upstanding company that has worked very hard with the court system to keep the standards high in online parenting classes. Parentingclassonline.net is a source you can trust for all of your parenting needs.

http://www.parentingclassonline.net/parenting-class.html

Parenting Classes in All 50 States

2010-09-20T08:30:00.001-07:00

Parentingclassonline.net is the premier parenting resource in all 50 states.

Parenting Classes in all 50 states

We serve courts in all 50 states and are now becoming the premier resource for Employee Assistance Programs and Human Resource departments nationwide.

Visit parentingclassonline.net for parenting classes, co-parenting classes and divorce classes. We also have a class for teens who's parents are separating.

There are so many parenting classes out there. What do I look for in a parenting class?

2010-07-22T04:17:00.001-07:00

That's a good question. There are many parenting classes out there. You have to decide what is important to you in taking a parenting class and what is required of you in taking a class. Most courts look for a licensed person behind the parenting class. Courts take parenting classes very seriously and having someone without a license who doesn't share the importance of taking a parenting class is a person to stay away from. Some parenting class companies want to "sell" a class. Other parenting companies want to "teach" you something. Price is another issue for some people. Classes on the internet range from 35.00 to over 100.00 per class. You don't always get what you pay for. It isn't paying the most that makes it a better class. The material and who is teaching the material is the most important.

Things to look for in a parenting class:
Is there contact information on the site?
Can you talk to someone at the office?
What are the credentials of the teacher? If there is no About Us on the site they probably don't want you to know who is teaching the class.
Do they give you a mailing address?

These are just a few things to look for in taking a quality parenting class. ParentingClassOnline.net meets and exceeds court requirements in parenting classes. We have been online since 2002 serving the courts and are proud to say that all of our programs are widely accepted.

Parenting Class or Co-Parenting Class?

2010-06-07T05:28:00.000-07:00

That's a great question. All courts, states, counties, judges have different terms for parenting classes. If you are unsure, email us and we can help you determine what type of parenting class you need.

Basically, a parenting class is for anyone wanting to improve their parenting skills. Parenting classes are also used in divorce situations where parents need to be on the same page in raising their kids in two seperate households.

Co-parenting while a lot like parenting classes includes information on getting along as co-parents and not co-partners. Co-parenting teaches successful communication, how to raise kids in harmony, how to de-escalate fighting and how to move on in life.

While there are simularities in the classes there are also differences. Email us and let us help you find the right parenting class.

I just can't get along with my ex. What can I do?

2010-04-20T08:12:00.000-07:00

Getting along with an ex is tough, but when there are children involved it is imperative that you get along for them. I am not talking about having a wonderful relationship. I am talking about having a "working" relationship.

At parentingclassonline.net we teach the importance of getting along with your ex spouse or we refer to them as your co-parent. They are not a spouse to you any longer, but they are now a co-parent to your children.

A couple of DO's:

DO recognize when things are starting to heat up between you and your co-parent. When you get the vibe that things are getting off track immediately get away from the situation.

DO allow your children to see and experience their other parent. There is nothing worse than a child loving and missing a parent and the other not allowing them to be part of their lives.

DO communicate the important issues regarding your children, but keep it brief and on target. The only thing you have in common now are your children so that should be your only conversation.

DO get help for yourself and your children if you need to.

DO make it a practice to be on time to pick kids up and return them.

These are just simple things you can do to help things go smoothly for your children. If you would like to learn more come to parentingclassonline.net where we have classes and an online free support group.

Parenting Class? Which class do I take?

2010-04-14T08:27:00.000-07:00

I get this same question over and over. It is confusing to know what is expected of you in a parenting class especially when you are under stress from a divorce or separation. Some courts will call it a parenting class, others a family stabilization class and co-parenting class or divorce class. I have been doing this since 2002 and it is still confusing for me too.

The best place to start is by asking whoever is requiring you to take a parenting class what exactly do you need to take to fulfill your requirement. What is the exact terminology of your class? If you have an attorney, ask him or her to clarify. You can also call the court clerk to help you determine what you are required to take to fulfill your parenting class.

Parentingclassonline.net is designed to meet all of your parenting class needs. We start off with a 4 hour class and if you need more hours we will work with you to get you those hours. We work with you to get this certificate accepted.

Parentingclassonline.net has been doing online programs since 2002 and serving the courts with great success and acceptance. One thing the courts like about our programs is they are led by a licensed marriage and family therapist. The courts know that you work for your certificate in this program and that is respectable for the courts and for yourself to learn and grow through this process. Parentingclassonline.net is here to get you a certificate, but we also care about your learning experience.

ParentingClassOnline.net is a nationally accepted parenting, co-parenting and divorce class. We are automatically accepted by all courts throughout Florida. We are a class the courts have grown to know and trust. If you have any further questions please don't hesitate to email me directly at centerofsolutions@ymail.com.

Positive Communication with Your Co-Parent

2010-04-06T08:33:00.000-07:00

Even the thought of communicating with a co-parent may elicit a deep sigh. Many of you can’t imagine having a conversation with a co-parent without delving into nasty banter or button pushing. You may have tried to be rational and your co-parent is vested in letting you know everything you did wrong or how unhappy he or she is feeling both in the past and present. Being a co-parent with an uncoopertive ex-partner is tough.

It is hard to believe but many separating or divorced parents seem to relish their miscommunication with each other. The renewal of old angry feelings keeps the issue of who has power over whom alive and keeps that familiar connection going. Using negative strategies can make you feel strong and in a one-upmanship position over your co-parent. Sound familiar? If this sounds all too familiar at parentingclassonline.net we can help both partners find new and better ways of communicating. Improving communication with your co-parent is an investment in happy children.

Embrace the idea of good communication and keep these goals in mind when communicating with your co-parent:

1. Make clear arrangements regarding your kids.
2. Model good negotiating and problem solving for your kids.
3. Make life easier.

When communicating with a co-parent keep your eye on the prize. You are doing this for your kids. If your co-parent is in the habit of goading you, don’t take the bait. Develop a deaf ear and remember that you aren’t trying to make the relationship work any longer. You are working toward a new role of co-parent in the best interest of your children.

You can’t control the other parent, but you can control yourself. If things are heating up take a step back, cool off before answering the phone, change the subject and remember to stay out of the dance. Remember, your kids are listening. When parents or co-parents can't get along it puts an incredible amount of stress on the kids.

Being a good co-parent sometimes requires putting on blinders. Don’t let yourself get riled up by every small detail. Some people are expert manipulators and they know just how to push your buttons, but you have a choice in how you respond. Talk to yourself, let it go, drop it and walk away. Tell yourself that this is not about your co-parent. It is about your kids.

How do I get on with my life after my divorce?

2010-03-29T08:29:00.000-07:00

Well, it’s finally over. No more attorneys and decisions have been made. Now you have to make it work for your children and yourself. Now it is time to create a new beginning.

After a divorce you are essentially redefining and restructuring your parenting roles and duties that now exist in two separate households. Secondly, you have to redefine your personal life and get on with your new life. Your new challenges at this stage are managing separate households, connecting with your ex-spouse as co-parents and not partners, and developing new social ties as a single adult.

So how do you manage separate households?

The most important thing to realize and maybe the toughest to get over is that the old household can never exist again. No matter how hard you try to recreate it, the old household is gone. Instead of trying to make everything exactly the same put your efforts into making your new environment comfortable and pleasant. Maybe you never decorated your own place before and your taste as a single parent is much different than when you were with your spouse. Bring out your creativity. Make your home a place where you and your kids will want to be. Have some fun with your new home. Let the kids decorate their rooms. They will enjoy having something different from their old room. Make it a positive experience.

How do you reconnect as single parents rather than partners?

This is tough and probably one of the most difficult aspects of co-parenting is learning to be parents when you are no longer partners. No matter what form of custody you have, no matter what division of the kid’s time has been developed, you and your former partner need to define a shared and respectful role as parents. A couple of quick tips to make transitioning between homes more enjoyable: respect your ex-partner’s time and schedule. If you are going to be late, call and let them know. Do not comment on the other parent’s lifestyle or household. Don’t judge or criticize the other parent’s life or home. Children do not need to be caught in the middle of your opinions or power struggles. Realize that life does go on after a divorce and there is a high likelihood that there will be another companion entering your ex-partner’s life. Remember, you are always the parent to your child. No one replaces you as a parent, but do encourage good relationships with new people in your kid’s lives. Again, kids do not belong in the middle of adult emotions.

How do you develop new social ties for yourself?

Social isolation is not healthy following a divorce. A lot of parents throw themselves headfirst into parenting after a divorce and while that is a great thing, you need to develop a new support system for yourself to be a healthy parent. Push yourself to go out with friends and co-workers. Reconnect with old friends before you were married. Take up new activities; join a gym, a church, synagogue, join a support group or an organization. There are plenty of people out there waiting to connect with you and enjoy you as a friend. You have to put yourself out there.
If you need parenting classes or support, please come to parentingclassonline.net. We have parenting classes, co-parenting classes, divorce classes and even a class for your kids to take online. We also over a free online support forum for parents called parentsconnectingonline.ning.com. All parents are welcome.

Question: How do I choose a quality online parenting class?

2010-03-20T09:51:00.000-07:00

That’s a tough one because there are so many parenting classes online that it is confusing to weed through all of them.

The first most important thing to look at is the qualifications of the instructor. If you are required to take a parenting class by the legal system (divorce, separation, child services etc.) they will definitely look at the qualifications of the instructor. The court systems want qualified therapists/counselors teaching parenting classes because they deal with family issues and they are bound by their professional license to produce a class where people learn positive skills of parenting. Courts will respect a certificate signed by a licensed therapist.

The second most important thing to look at is if they are really an accepted program. I have seen websites pop up overnight stating that they are nationally accepted. Ask them for proof of who has accepted their program. Just because they put up a website does not mean they are an accepted parenting class.

Find out if there is a phone number you can talk to a live person. If the class only lists a P.O. Box be careful choosing that program. A lot of therapists will use a P.O. Box for mailing correspondence, but they will also list a phone number for your questions.

Read the wording of their site. If it confuses you get out of there. There are differences between parenting, co-parenting and divorce classes. If you are reading conflicting messages on a website they may not know the difference themselves and you may waste your time taking the wrong class.

If you are looking for a quality parenting class online come to parentingclassonline.net and read through the programs. We are nationally accepted and the state of Florida has recognized our program of excellence statewide. We will work with you to select the appropriate program for you and see you through to the end.

Transitioning Your Children Between Two Homes

2009-12-28T19:18:00.000-08:00

How to pick up and drop off your children from your ex-spouse.

Transitioning children after a divorce is a tough thing. You don’t want to see the ex, yet you are curious to see him/her. You want to hurt the ex because of the misery they put you through, but your kids are there listening and watching your every move. How do you act when you drop off your kids? Do you say hello? How can you avoid feeling awkward, but still show your kids you can be a good ex-partner and a great parent?

If tension is high and tempers are flaring, arrange to have pick ups and drop offs at a day care, school or a neutral third party to avoid contact with the other parent until things get more peaceful. Regardless of where you meet, prepare your children for their transitions between homes. Let them know in advance which days are dad’s and which days are mom’s.

On the transitions days try to follow a routine that’s predictable and comfortable. Be mindful of what you say on your way to the transition and during the transition. If you feel your anger level start to flare, take a few deep breathes and back away. There should be no fighting or adult issues when you transition children. If you have things to discuss with your ex do it at a different time, through email, text or phone calls, but not when you are dropping off your children. Children do not like conflict and will want to avoid changing homes if it means mom and dad are “just going to fight.”

If you slip up and start to argue or fight during the transition, remind your children that adults have a hard time adjusting to divorce too, and that they may still be showing their anger or sadness through arguing and bad behavior. Kids like to know that adults are human too and they make mistakes. But if you shove your feelings under the rug and pretend like it didn’t happen it will leave your kids feeling confused and not sure if they can trust your behavior.

There will be times when things are forgotten during the transition either on purpose or mistakenly left behind. Remember, this is not a perfect world, life happens; some forgetfulness, some lateness, some changes in schedules, and other unforeseen problems are bound to occur. Adopt an “I can handle it attitude” and move on. Remember, this is about your kids. You are not married to the same partner anymore so it all about your children. Make them comfortable to go between homes and they will enjoy the process much more.

If you would like more information on parenting, parenting classes or therapy, please visit us parentingclassonline.net .

De-Stressing the Holidays

2009-11-30T09:47:00.000-08:00

At this time of the year I get asked the same question over and over: Why do I see others running around enjoying the Holidays and I can't seem to find any joy! Believe it or not the Holidays are not happy times for many people. While some people jump around feeling giddy with expectations and are willing to run themselves ragged partying, others are feeling down and blue. You might ask how can anyone feel down around the Holidays?

The Holidays bring up a lot of feelings for many people which are not joyous. They may have lost a family member, old childhood wounds surface, faced with too many expections causing anger and depression. The list could go on and on, but just know that if you are not feeling overly excited about the Holidays... you are not alone. Holidays can be the best of times and the worst of times.

One way to take down the Holiday stress is to lighten up on expectations, set boundaries and know when to say no. Try to understand that other people are feeling joy, but you can have your feelings too. It's okay to have your feelings and it is okay for others to find joy.

Take the stress down a notch this year.Expectations: Figure out what is really important to you.

Ask yourself: What feels good to you? By that I mean if running around to every single party is stressing you out and you are not finding any joy in participating... limit the number of parties you attend. You can say no. People will get over it. Family will even get over it in time. One thing I hear a lot from adult clients is they really don't find any joy in going home to their parent's home. There is chaos, fighting, and arguing that may bring back bad, old childhood feelings. Instead of forcing yourself into that situation stay home and start new traditions with your own family. Taking one year off to find your old Holiday joy is worth it!

Allow others to help you: You can't do it all. Delegate is the word over the Holidays. Have family gatherings, but don't provide all of the food and entertainment. Ask each family member to bring a dish or favorite game. If you don't find joy in it.... don't do it.

Agendas: Don't have hidden agendas or plan big surprises. Big surprises are fun to plan, but they only add more stress on you and if they are not well received they add stress on everyone. Keep it simple. State your plans. Tell people the time and where to go. Who comes, comes. Who doesn't come.... that's okay. Maybe they are finding their own joy too.Don't engage with difficult family members: It seems that the most difficult of family members surface during the Holidays. Don't allow yourself to get sucked into negativity. Remain pleasant, but detach yourself from the situation.

The whole idea of the Holidays is to make them more meaningful, but less stressful. Know your limits. Set boundaries and if it doesn't feel good, don't do it. Start new family traditions that you can enjoy with your family. The most important thing during the Holidays is that you have a new season of peace, love and family warmth.

Why is a parenting class important?

2009-10-23T07:12:00.000-07:00

When going through a divorce or separation you are under incredible stress. You are trying to hang on to your emotions, continue with work and raise your kids. Often times through the stress of it all you forget that your kids are going through a divorce too. Taking a parenting class will give you "survival" tips as you go through the process of separation. It will help you remember the important things such as not putting kids in the middle of divorce.

Tip 1: Kids need their mom and their dad and holding them back from one parent is not serving your kids well. It may make you feel better because you are punishing your ex, but along with that your kids get punished.

Tip 2: Don't expect your kids to be your messenger. Kids shouldn't bring messages back and forth from one parent to another. It only puts them in the middle.

If you are looking for an established, trusted source for your parenting needs come to Parentingclassonline.net where we understand what you are going through. We keep our programs simple, yet you will walk away with valuable tips and skills to get both you and your kids through the divorce.